Mixed! Mixed! Mixed!!! All Mixed together...

Too many things come at the same time d...
Can't accept it...
Should I feel happy? Thankful? Or =(
Ya... I think I should...
But I =S at the same time...
Dunno what to do...

I've been cheated you for the past few months...
But why do you still treat me that good?
I'm not worth of your effort & time...
You can spend all these on other people's life... Those people who know how to appreciate & those who know how to love you...

Why? Why?
No!!! Please don't come so close...
Though I would like to... But you'll get to see the other side of me...
The unknown side, the dark side of me...
It'll hurt you even more... I'm sure you won't feel nice after you get to know the wild me...
I'm not up to your expectation... I'm going forward towards the vase type of people...
I'm just a grasp of ashes from the ground as what my name means...
I'm nothing over all...

The closer you come to me... The more unworthy part of me revealed...

Just like a small little ant in a black box... When it first saw the light after been captivated in the box for quite some time... Trying to hide itself from the light...

Just like the man in that show... He realized that all he did all these while was just something foolish... All the efforts he pays do not help him to maintain what he owes... He feels sorry... He feels lost... Feel unfair... Feel... Feel like going to be crazy soon.... Searching for a way to set himself free... Walking towards to his favorite mountain... Standing alone on the top of the mountain... Step by step walking towards the edge of the peak & look down to the valley... Asking the valley... Hope that there will be an answer or miracle he can find... Hope that he will get some feed back from the valley...

You said you'll never leave me... You always by my side... You'll go through every single step of my life with me...
I felt touch at that very moment... I cried...

But now... When I think of that... Even though I know you won't simply give promises... But somehow... I just feel...

No!!! Please... Let me go... Please...
No!!! Don't let go of your hand... Please...

I cried...

I ask myself do I still love you as what I used to?
Do I still trust in you as what I'm supposing to?

I know there's a war within my heart...
A battle of black & white...

Remember one of our dear friend's favorite song? The two Kings?
Now I can understand what does the lyric mean... And how important you are... to me...

=)